Siriously?

A few weeks ago, I finally joined the 21st century, and got my beloved iPhone. We are now best friends. Sorry to all of my other best friends—you can now be my #2 best friend. One of my favorite features of the phone has been getting to know Siri. When I was at the store getting it set up, employee Ben loved showing me all of the Siri features. There was useful information, like how many calories are in a Big Mac (520!), she told us a joke (2 iPhones walk into a bar…), and I learned how she can be my personal assistant, by calling whoever I want on command, setting reminders for anything, and searching for all kinds of goodies on the interweb.

Then, Ben saved the best for last and showed me how sassy she is. He asked her how to hide a dead body, and she promptly pulled up a list of dumpsters, mines and swamps in a 2 mile radius. This is wonderful! He asked what she was wearing, and she replied, “Aluminosilicate glass and stainless steel. Nice, huh.” Weird, I was wearing the same thing.

So when I got home, I thought I would try some questions of my own. You know, like, “Why is ham so tasty?” and “Why am I so attractive?” She gave pithy answers, and we laughed, and we laughed. Well, then I decided to really go for it, and I asked, “Who am I going to marry?” Instead of providing me with an answer, she says, “Calling_____,” and she proceeds to start actually CALLING someone in my contacts list. Who is a man. And who is single. Now, keep in mind that the phone was still new, and it took me longer than it should have to end that call. So that’s awkward. Does that mean I’m engaged now?