Guilty as Charged Part 7

2016: Hallmark ratcheted it up to 20 Christmas movies, and unlike past years, there were really no standouts.  Most of them were "pretty good" (using my Hallmark scale, which is set a notch or 10 lower than my expectations for other forms of entertainment). In any event, let's forge ahead. Here are my past reviews (2015, 2014, 2013, 2012, 2011 and 2009).

Common plot point: Marketing Exec/News Anchor/Actress Goes to Small Christmas Town 

Gosh, let's see if I can capture them all, because this plot point figured into no less than FIVE movies this year. 

In A Wish for Christmas, Lacey Chabert goes on a trip with her hot boss to a tiny town to do a big marketing pitch.  She's a timid doormat who has a chance encounter with Santa Claus, who gives her a gift: she'll now be able to stand up for herself.  But only for 48 hours (darn you, Santa!!).  Will her gift last her long enough to a) win the pitch b) solve her boss' daddy issues and c) nab the man for herself? 

In Christmas Cookies (not to be confused with 2014's A Cookie Cutter Christmas) a high-powered food executive (Jill Wagner from Wipeout, obviously) comes to a Christmas-themed town to shut down their beloved cookie plant. The plant also happens to be owned by a young bachelor who might make her forget she has a boring boyfriend at home.  

In Love You Like Christmas, a high-powered marketing executive's car breaks down in a small Christmas town (something that happens every other day in Hallmark world).  She then ends up falling for a single dad who owns his own struggling Christmas tree farm. But wait! She's a marketing executive!  But not a rocket scientist - it takes her 3/4 of whole movie to figure out that she can help him and until the very end to realize she loves him.

In Christmas in Homestead, a plot that owes Notting Hill's screenwriters big time, a famous actress and her costar (and ex-boyfriend) come to film a Christmas movie in a small town.  The town's innkeeper mayor (who happens to be a cute single dad as all innkeeper mayors are) isn't happy that they're taking over the town. 

In Every Christmas Has a Story, a news anchor blurts over the air that she doesn't like Christmas!  Horrors!  Now she has to go to a small Christmas town to renovate her image.  And her producer happens to be an ex-boyfriend. Lots of time to talk about old issues in a small Christmas town!

Who wore it best?  

Love You Like Christmas and Christmas in Homestead are the best of this batch.  

Common plot point: time travel and other mysticism

In Journey Back to Christmas, Candace Cameron Bure (Hallmark's newest Star of Christmas) is a nurse who travels forward in time...I don't remember why.  In any event, she 

In A Dream of Christmas, another marketing executive has trouble balancing her career with her marriage.  She ends up wishing she never got married.  After falling from a ladder, her wish is granted!  But she can't stop hanging around her husband trying to woo him all over again!

Who wore it best?  

A Dream of Christmas.  Candace Cameron Bure is starting to bug, plus her movie did not star hot Andrew Walker (above). 

The "Looking a Little Worse for Wear" Award: 

Is it Sascha Radetsky from a Nutcracker Christmas who first graced us in Center Stage??

Is it Dean Cain, in Broadcasting Christmas, who was Superman, for crying out loud? (not to mention Brenda's Parisian boyfriend Rick (aka "Reek") in Beverly Hills, 90210)

Doughy.

Hubba.

The "winner:"

Dean Cain. 

The "Wake Up and See What's Right in Front of You" Award:

Is it the Mistletoe Promise, where two executives meet cute in a food court and realize that a business arrangement to be each others' plus-ones could help them move ahead. Can Jaime King and her distracting eyebrows stop being stubborn and turn her fake relationship into a real one?  

Or is it My Christmas Love, which squanders Meredith Hagner's talent by making her into a dumb-as-rocks children's book author who keeps pursuing relationships with old acquaintances instead of her steady, adorable illustrator.

Not him, you idiot!!

Him!

Winner: Mistletoe Promise.

Who had the hottest male leads?

My Christmas Love - he's adorbs. 

Him!

And the Mistletoe Promise - he's a new addition to the Hallmark crew and spends most of his time in a suit and overcoat. Yes. 

It was the last straw for....

Alicia Witt and Danica McKeller.  I just can't with their movies anymore. 

On very thin ice...

Candace Cameron Bure and Lacey Chabert.  

Well, that's it!  And we didn't even cover Candace Cameron Bure's annoying intros to all the other Hallmark movies, hot Gregory Harrison (he's old!) in My Christmas Love, and Donna Mill's timeless face. Another time. 

Kristen's Best of 2016!!!

Best Reads

Anyone who knows me knows I love/adore my subscription to the NY Times.

NY Times: How Asking 5 Questions Allowed me to Eat Dinner With my Kids  We talk about the “5 Whys” at work, and I think you could apply them to any situation.  I loved this example. 

NY Times: The Lawyer Who Became DuPont’s Worst Nightmare.  I love when news can bring attention to an issue in the form of a really gripping story.  This one - about a lawyer who won’t back down when he realizes DuPont has been poisoning a town’s water supply - is journalism at its best. 

Deseret News: When God Puts You in the Standby Line.

Angela Duckworth, “Grit.” This book tackles a topic that’s always been interesting to me: what is the difference between someone who succeeds and perseveres versus someone who, well…doesn’t?  The answer, says Duckworth, is GRIT.  And she says, based on her research, that we can all get more of it.  Her book is relatable and insightful. 

Mike Massamino, “Space Man.” I loved this book about a man who tries for 10 years to be an astronaut.  He’s able to describe technical concepts in a very relatable way, and his personal stories are incredibly inspirational.  I LOVED his description of going on a space walk and describing what it’s like to have an unobstructed view into open space, with not another soul around.  

Best Songs

Here are my favorite songs of 2016.

Best Podcasts

What I lacked in books read I made up for in podcasts listened to.  I must warn you that some of these have a little language.  It’s a tough balance in the podcast world.  

StartUp - If you’re not familiar with StartUp, it’s a podcast about….starting a podcasting company (called Gimlet).  And it’s riveting.  Season 1 is all about Gimlet, and the subsequent seasons are about other startups.  But each season they do updates on Gimlet, and those are my favorite episodes.  My favorite episode this season is S4E3, “Shadowed Qualities,” where Gimlet founder Alex Blumberg (whose voice I find attractive and Melinda finds awful) gets really blunt feedback about his management style and has to come to terms with what his career goals say he should do versus what he really enjoys doing. 

A note that the rest of the episodes in S4 I wouldn’t necessarily recommend…they’re about the founder of American Apparel and he’s a real skeezebag. 

Hidden Brain.  I don’t like all episodes equally, but when they get it right, it’s really fascinating stuff.  My required listening for this podcast is episode 3, Stereotype Threat, about a female poker player who uses the fact that she’s the only girl in the room to her advantage; episode 9, Aziz Anasari on Modern Love; and Episode 34, Google at Work. 

Human Race.  This is a podcast from Runner’s World that’s not really about running…it’s more about the human spirit.  Its episodes are awesome.  My favorites so far are Episode 1, Tin Man, about a man running with an artificial heart (and what it means on a psychological level to have your heart replaced by a machine).  Episode 7, The Barkley Marathons, is about a gonzo-level-crazy race that only 14 people have ever completed.  Incidentally, I used to work with a guy who is the only man to have finished 3 times…I remember writing a brief article on him but I really had no idea what the race was about.  It’s certifiably insane. 

Planet Money is consistently enjoyable.  Some of my recent favorites are #728, The Wells Fargo Hustle, with personal stories about the high-pressure culture that led to the scandal. #714, Can a Game Show Lose, about the one man who guessed - exactly - the price of the final Showcase Showdown on the Price is Right and how he did it. Also #562: A Mall Divided, about a shopping mall that straddles two city lines.  The kicker is that one city raised their minimum wage and the other city didn’t, and the workers had no idea the other half of the mall was making more money. 

Death, Sex, and Money.  Disclaimer that I don’t listen to all the episodes - based on the title you might guess that some are a little more scandalous than others.  But host Anna Sale has a gift for getting people to open up in really honest ways about the Big Things in life.  I especially like Chaz Ebert on Life Without Roger, and also Living Along and Liking It - Sometimes. I also enjoyed I Was More Angry at God, about a woman coping with the murder of her father and coming to grips with why bad things happen. 

Criminal. I liked Episode 51, Money Tree (about a woman who discovers something horrible when her parents’ identities are stolen), so much that I texted my sister-in-law immediately to listen to it.  Another good one was Episode 54, Melinda and Clarence, whose husband was put in prison for murdering her mother. She believes he’s innocent and starts investigating the murder herself, putting herself in sometimes dangerous positions (they say you need to listen to the previous episode to "get" this one - not the case).   

The Dave Ramsey Show. I just discovered Dave Ramsey and his Baby Steps this year, but listening to him changed the way I thought about my debt.  Because of his show, I decided to pay my car off early and refinance my home to a 15-year mortgage so I could get out of debt more quickly.  I don't listen to every episode - his radio show is three hours so he releases 3 1-hour podcasts a day - but listen to a few and you'll get a sense for his no-nonsense style (he will shut you right down if you come in with an excuse).   His approach is really simple and I like that it works with people of any income. 

Other Random Favorites

My Simple bank account.  If I could shout about Simple from the hills, I would do it.  Simple is an online bank that lets you set up savings goals and then it automatically directs money each day towards those goals.  I have used Simple to save for trips, new tires, and other stuff I want to save for.  It’s kind of a game changer. Their app is awesome.  And even their required emails - like the annual Regulation E Disclosure statement - is a joy to read (yes, I said it - a joy!).

This pillow. It’s just the right amount of firm and it’s awesome. 

Pick Your Plum on Instagram.  Every night they put something funny up and it usually always makes me LOL.  

Whiplash the Cowboy Monkey. We saw this at a rodeo this summer…a monkey dressed as a cowboy holding on for dear life as it rides a dog around the stadium.  It’s probably the greatest thing I’ve ever seen. Watch a video here. 

Guilty as Charged, Part 6

Every year, the titles get more generic and the plots do too!  Are there any bright spots? (for past years, see my 2014, 2013, 2012, 2011 and 2009 reviews).

Once Upon a Holiday

Plot: A small-country princess (aren't they all?) escapes from her royal life for a few days, aided by a handsome stranger who has no idea who she is. Think Roman Holiday but starring the chick from Step Up 2 the Streets.
Lovable Old Person: No one famous.
Overacting: 2/5. Not too bad!
My guilt level: 3/5. Hallmark has a weakness for royalty-themed holiday movies lately, and I have a weakness for watching them.
Handsomeness of male lead: 4/5. He's the lovable goofball from Window Wonderland.
Overall: 3.5/5. This is pretty cute!

'Tis the Season for Love

Plot: a struggling actress comes home for the holidays to find her ex-boyfriend married with kids and his fire chief brother...conveniently unattached.  Would things have been different if she had never gone to New York? Can the charms of hometown life make her give up her acting dreams?
Lovable Old Person: Not present.
Overacting: 2/5.
My guilt level: 2/5
Handsomeness of male lead: 3/5, but my "gaydar" was going off throughout his performance.
Overall: 3.5/5.  A cute ending and a pretty cute movie!

A Gift-Wrapped Christmas

Plot: a personal shopper gets a crabby new client for Christmas - a handsome widowed workaholic with an adorable son.  See where we're going with this?
Lovable Old Person: Not present.  But that kid might be the most adorable kid since Love Actually. And that's saying something.
Overacting: 1/5.  The lead actress does a great job, and it has some of the most relatable family scenes of the bunch.
My guilt level: 1/5.
Handsomeness of male lead: 3/5.  He's a little wooden, but once they get him out of a suit and into jeans and a sweater...swoon.
Overall: 5/5! This is the holiday movie that shows other holiday movies how it's done.

The Christmas Gift

Plot: Not to be confused with A Gift-Wrapped Christmas or the 12 Gifts of Christmas, in The Christmas Gift Michelle Trachtenberg struggles to crack a smile as a journalist looking for her big break into serious stories.  How? By stalking profiling the founder of a children's charity...who also happens to have sent her an inspiring Christmas gift when she was a kid. An unnecessary side plot about her aunt being kicked out of her apartment complex to make room for a fancy new condo development.
Lovable Old Person: NBA player Rick Fox plays the boss.
Overacting: 3/5.  There's a smarmy ex boyfriend who lays it on pretty thick. Also, Rick Fox.
My guilt level: 2/5.
Handsomeness of male lead: 2/5. Not super cute at first but has a nice smile.
Overall: 1/5. The outlook for this movie is as drab at Michelle Trachtenberg's wardrobe. Seriously, it was bad.

The 12 Gifts of Christmas

Plot: The woman from last year's Snow Bride is back as some sort of shopping savant who helps a handsome beefcake get ready for Christmas.
Lovable Old Person: She's not super lovable but Donna Mills plays the beefcake's mother.
Handsomeness of male lead: 4/5. He's cute alright.
My guilt level: 0/5 because I didn't stick around long enough to find out.
Overacting: 5/5 because you know who has a major role in this film?  The chick from the Megaplex pre-show features. Yes, her:

This movie also features City Creek masquerading as a New York City mall. You can't fool me, Hallmark.

A Christmas Detour

Plot: Candace Cameron Bure is a high-strung magazine writer stranded on her way to meet her stuffy fiance and his stuffy family.  But when her only hope to arrive rests with her handsome seatmate on the plane, who knows what could happen?  You know what, actually everyone knows what could happen.
Lovable Old Person: Not present.
Overacting: 3/5. Candace Cameron Bure is not the best actress.
My guilt level: 2/5.
Handsomeness of male lead: 3/5. Sometimes he's cute and sometimes he looks old! Mostly he's cute though.
Overall: 3/5.

Last Flight to Christmas

Plot: Mayim Blalik is horribly miscast as a contemporary woman whose fiance has just broken up with her.  Flying home to lick her wounds, she is stranded in a storm with a handsome stranger. We'll set aside the fact that Mayim Blalik is Jewish, starring in a Christmas movie.
Lovable Old Person: Not present.
Overacting: 2.5/5. Not much overacting per se, but the two leads have exactly zero chemistry.
My guilt level: 3/5.
Handsomeness of male lead: 4/5. Those glasses don't hide the fact that he's incredibly good-looking. You know who Mayim Blalik actually married?  Someone who looks like this:

Overall: 1/5.

Dolly Parton's Coat of Many Colors

Plot: Not exactly a Christmas movie - but I think it mentions Christmas?  Anyway, this is the story of Dolly Parton's growing up in a tiny cabin with 12 kids in the mountains of Tennessee.  Ricky Shroder (welcome back!) plays her dad, who is struggling to find God in the midst of tragedy, and Jennifer Nettles plays his long-suffering wife.
Lovable Old Person: Gerald McRaney of Major Dad fame.
Overacting: 1/5. This is really well-acted.
My guilt level: 1/5.  Not guilty about this one at all!
Handsomeness of male lead: 3/5. If we're counting Ricky Shroder as the male lead, there were a few times when I found myself thinking he looks good in those overalls.
Overall: 5/5.  I really liked this one!!  I loved how it dealt with issues every family can relate to and doesn't shy away from religion.  Also, Dolly Parton!

On the Twelfth Day of Christmas

Plot: In perhaps the creepiest plotline of them all, a woman's college friend moves back in town and he HATES CHRISTMAS all of a sudden.  So she arranges to have 12 gifts sent to him once per day to help him recapture the spirit, then doesn't tell him it's her and writes an article / expose about him!
Lovable Old Person: Not present.
Overacting: 3/5.
My guilt level: 3/5.
Handsomeness of male lead: 1/5. Not cute at all.
Overall: 2/5.  Oof.  This is a rough one.

Christmas Incorporated

Plot: The rebellious (he drives a motorcycle) heir of a toy company visits a small town prior to closing the factory and putting them all out of business.  UNLESS a pretty new employee can convince him how much the town needs the company!  If only she hadn't lied in order to get the job in a plot line clearly manufactured to create conflict!
Lovable Old Person: Not present.
Overacting: 2/5.
My guilt level: 2/5.  Mostly related to the tie he's wearing in this picture.
Handsomeness of male lead: 5/5.  I mean look at him in this flannel.

Overall: 3/5.










Just in Time For Christmas

Plot: a young professor has to choose between a lucrative job offer and getting married (because they're mutually exclusive).  When she accepts a carriage ride from a stranger (note: never accept a carriage ride from a stranger), she is transformed 3 years into the future to see how her choices turn out.
Lovable Old Person: Two!! William Shatner plays the strange carriage driver and Christopher Lloyd really elevates the acting in the movie as her cute grandfather.
Overacting: 1/5.  This is well-acted.
My guilt level: 3/5 for the time travel plot alone.
Handsomeness of male lead: 4/5.  He's got just the right amount of scruff and floppy hair.
Overall: 4/5.  This was a pleasant surprise, after a dubious first 30 minutes.  Stay with it - this is a cute one.

Phew!!!  What did you think of the holiday crop this year? 

Happy 74th Birthday to Dad/Grandpa!

We had a great time celebrating the birth of our Dad and Grandpa

Here's Davis working on his special message to Grandpa

Jena, Grandpa and Ivy

 Maggie, Sara, Grandpa and Grace

Emma and Jacob

 Davis, Grandpa and Jena enjoying birthday treats

 

Julie with the bigger kids - Maia, Jacob, Emma and Aiden

Kristen and Lilli

 Lilli and Ivy

 Group Photo - Maia with Ivy, Emma, Sara, Jena, Aiden, Grandpa, Jacob, Grace, with Maggie and Davis in the front.

The big kids - Julie, Kristen, Lisa, Brian, Lilli, Brent with Dad and Melinda in the front.

Brent with baby Ivy

 We made an anagram birthday for his birthday
G - Gregarious
A - Always serving
R - Righteous
Y - Youthful (look at those arms!)

 

 (Sign by Maggie)

74 Things We Love About You

1.  Get toys for us (Maggie)

2.  Is kind (Maggie)

3.  Is loving (Maggie

4.  Sets up Easter Egg hunt (Maggie)

5.  Loves to play with us (Grace)

6.  Is very clever (Grace)

7.  He is very funny (Grace)

8.  Listens to comments [synergizes] (Grace)

9.  Such a great example of a loving husband (Lilli)

10.  Always looks for ways to serve others (Lilli)

11.  One of the most generous people I know (Lilli)

12.  Love that you always have a birthday balloon anagram. (Lilli)

13.  I really appreciate how willing you are to help me with the kids while Brent is in school (Lilli)

14.  Davis - plays with me at Arctic Circle (Davis)

15.  Pushes me on the swings while Maggie is playing soccer (Davis)

16.  Plays tag with me (Davis)

17.  He throw me in the air (Davis)

18.  Has shown me how to treat a wife (Brent)

19.  Played with me when I was a kid, so now I play with mine. (Brent)

20.  Remembers and loves our Mom. (Brent)

21.  Would do anything for anyone, even if it imposes on his own life (Brent)

22.  Taught me the rules of football and how to throw a spiral int eh street (Brent)

23.  Shared his love of running.  It didn't stick.  :)  (Brent)

24.  Taught me to love and respect my sisters.  Ok, all women really.  (Brent)

25.  Always tells me I look beautiful (Kristen)

26.  Loves my mom and treated her like a queen (Kristen)

27.  Wrote to me every week, all four years of college (Kristen)

28.  Two words:  Trotty Horse (Kristen)

29.  I have always known I can always rely on him.  Taught me what it means to be trustworthy (Kristen)

30.  When you ask a favor of him, he always does it NOW. (Kristen)

31.  Supports me in everything I do.  (Kristen)

32.  Coming to all of my soccer games and coaching my team at the last minute. (Melinda)

33.  Writing me weekly letters while I was at school. (Melinda)

34.  Sneaking away from drill to take me to lunch (Melinda)

35.  Stalways in the gospel!  Helped me with a scary gospel doctrine calling by providing lesson outlines. (Melinda)

36.  Taking amazing care of Mom and his parents. (Melinda)

37.  Being a total gentleman.  I love when he walks on the outside of the sidewalk (Melinda)

38.  Taught me how to cheat at War.  When I was 5.  (Melinda)

39.  Always in a good mood when you come home.  How do you do it? (Melinda)

40.  Taught us how to clean up after church activities (Melinda)

41.  I love how you took me to ZCMI to get my first make-up (Julie)

42.  I loved the chance to work with you at the National Guard.  I saw how people lined up to talk to you.  I also enjoyed going to Ream's for cheeseburgers. (Julie)

43.  I love and appreciate how you will drop anything to help us (for example, if I am in a car accident, you are my first call and come to help. :))  (Julie)

44.  You have taught me to love shopping.  (Julie)

45.  I love how you would take us on activities when we were little to give Mom a break (bowling, gymnastics) (Julie)

46.  I love how when we call and ask how you are - you say that you just got better. (Julie)

47.  I appreciate how you have my callings right along with me.  I have a great picture of you flipping pancakes at a young women fundraiser. (Julie)

48.  I love how you and Mm held hands driving in the car and sang with each other while doing the dishes (Julie)

49.  Thanks for the shorts (Jacob)

50.  I love how you are a joker (Jacob)

51.  I love how you are the nicest person in the world (Jacob)

52.  I love that you are always willing to do anything for us (Aiden)

53.  I love that you are interested about our lives and care about us (Aiden)

54.  I love all the things you've come and supported me in. 

55.  I am so grateful for the example you have set on how to be a great husband, father, worker, and Priesthood holder.

56.  I love how giving you are.  You give your time and effort for anything we need! (Maia)

57.  I love how you know and love the gospel! (Maia)

58.  I love how you always let us come over on Sundays! (Maia)

59.  I love how willing you are to serve! (Maia)

60.  I love your SMILE! (Emma)

61.  I love your laugh (Emma)

62.  I love how you come and visit us! (Emma)

63.  I love how happy you are when we visit! (Emma)

64.  Always there when we (or anyone) needs help. (Lisa)

65.  Love your jokes and puns (Lisa)

66.  Love the time and attention you give to your grandkids (Lisa)

67.  Grateful for the example you were/are to your sons - they make great husbands because of it (Lisa)

68.  I love that you are all ways there for us. (Sara)

69.  I love your great puns (Sara)

70.  I love when you play with us. (Sara)

71.  I love when you buy treats for us (Sara)

72.  I love your great ability to teach and give a lesson (Brian)

73.  I love how appreciative you are and express your love for everyone (Brian)

74.  I love your love for the gospel and thirst for knowledge. (Brian)

74a.  I love how you treated and loved Mom and were an example for me! (Brian)

(Sign by Grace)

We love our Dad and Grandpa and are so lucky to have him and his influence in our lives!